Me.in.Myself

Head to Sabak Bernam

2012-03-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

Today I head to Sabak Bernam for KAPA Camp (state level) at SMKA Simpang Lima. A quite not so long journey and I as escort teacher for Kuala Langat KAPA.

Cross-Country Run

2012-03-04T06:49:00.000+08:00

Cross Country

Cross country is a sport in which people run a race on open-air courses over natural terrain.

What I like to be in school are lots of sport activities such as cross country. Cross country running is held annually. The track typically 2 to 6 Kilometers. All students who had no serious health problem are required to participate the cross country run.

But in this new school I currently work, no run-off among teachers. Compared to my school as a teacher practically done last year, they required all teachers participate in cross-country run. I think every school should do the same thing, because it was really fun. :)

I saw him

2012-02-26T16:00:00.001+08:00

I was having breakfast with co-workers at mamak stalls. I saw a man, I think I personally know him. It quite long time since he left my mother and have a new family. I was in front of him momentarily, and he did not recognize me. I am his daughter.

Happy Birthday Buntal!

2012-02-25T23:31:00.000+08:00

Buntal is my beloved nephew.

He celebrated his 2nd birthday last 21st February.

21 st is a meaning date for me, because

I have good friends born on 21 something.

21 Feb - My nephew

21 March - My sister in law

21 October - Me and my good friend, Emila

21 December - My best friend

and lot of 21st's :D

We celebrated at my sister in law family's home.

Look at the wall painting,

it originally painted by my sister's father.

Camping - KAPA

2012-02-19T18:32:00.000+08:00

I was appointed as one of teacher adviser

for KAPA (Kadet Sekolah Pertahanan Awam) at school I currently work.

Last weekend, my cadets have participated a camp

in Kanchong Darat, Banting, Selangor.

They have 3 slots.

1 # Fighting Fire (Melawan Kebakaran)

2 # First aid (Pertolongan Cemas)

3 # Rescue (Menyelamat)

Rest time.

My Saturday was fun.

Look at their innocent faces,

I feel relieve.

Phrase 2 - Life is

2012-02-19T08:27:00.000+08:00

"Life is a cup of blackest coffee.
Won't always tasted sweet,
but bitter, or maybe insipid.
It ain't about how it tasted on your tongue.
But how you learn,
to drink it no matter what it taste."
~ azah skaliskala

Description :

I know exactly how it feel when people done something hurt us in the heart. Sometimes we lost our minds to think the reason why they did or said something fictitious about us and why they feel dissatisfied with our convenience. Some human sometimes might already lost their integrity and missed the real goals in life, and easily let the envious dominate and control their minds until they forget how to thankful what they have. Sometimes I do think about it and it always make me sad.

What make me continue believe that, it was another bitter I needed to swallow. It's like another a cup of blackest coffee and if I put a cube of sugar into it, so it will taste sweet. It wasn't about just being optimistic in life because not everyone are optimistic. But the belief in self to take all the worst things happen to us, and replace it to chance for us in order to be strong person, grateful and not lose.

Yes, we will never lose, we will never be defeat. No matter how they do their best to discredit us. As long as we stay on the right track and keep fighting to achieve our goals.

Mural Doodle

2012-02-19T07:23:00.000+08:00

People say,

paint mural on wall is another solution help you to relieve

from stress, sadness and negative emotion.

My Desk 2

2012-02-12T20:04:00.000+08:00

Make over my desk at teacher's room.

Week 1 ~

I dislike the color.huhu

Week 3, day 1 ~

New sampul, woods.

I actually love everything about bricks, woods for background.

It looks historic and old.

Two days later ~

Put plastic on desk and add some stuffs.

Happy and inspire to work. :)

Another Blog In Making

2012-02-06T09:50:00.000+08:00

Two weeks at school and two interviews in two week. Actually I realize something big this time, that how important to have deep knowledge. How important to keep studying, reading and learning. How important for me as a teacher to upgrade my skills and my knowledge for me to teach students. I sometimes feel backwards, I feel like I missed a lot of things and still need plenty to add knowledge. Although the time is running out. Am I too little too late?

I hate to have those feeling. But it will come for a while and make me realize that I need to something about it.

Blog was the best platform for me to stay inspire and stay working. One of my real intention to write blog is to helps myself to pursue my offline world. I never realize that for all this while I pursue knowledge through blogging. In 2009, I want to keep drawing and learn art techniques, so I created an ART blog and posted entries every weeks for myself to feel inspire. In 2009 also, as I want to keep remind myself to my relationship and so for us to keep appreciate each other, I created a blog about PLKN story. Last year, I created this blog for me to seek inspiration to compose art and to recover from art-blocked.

And now, I make another blog for me to seek and add knowledge which is more to education and knowledge blog. This is a step from me, to upgrade my knowledge. Well, hopefully I will improve myself in future.

www.teacher-azah-skaliskala.blogspot.com ~ my other blog in making.

Jealousy : Positive or Negative Competition?

2012-02-03T18:16:00.002+08:00

"Melihat kejayaan orang lain sebagai motivasi.
Melihat kebahagiaan orang lain sebagai satu inspirasi."

I often received opinion from random persons I met in my life, that they should be envy to other person, so they will strive harder to develop themselves. They assumed it as positive competition. They think with that thought they would able to develop themselves one step forwards, if they keep up with other people.

"Yes, I do envy with other successful, so I strive more to be better from them".

This can indeed be accomplished by working hard to making oneself better. But why should we put the envious and jealousy in competition? That can be indeed make a competition worse. From positive competition, it will become a negative competition. Jealousy will bring your heart the negative thought, the envious will make you hate someone who better from you.

"We only feel jealous when we think that we are in a direct competition with the person we are jealous of"

They envy with other people successful, included to their friends. They assumed it as positive competition just to develop selves. They felt truly backwards if they failed to chase the successful persons. Some of them managed to controlled their jealousy feeling and stayed in positive competition. Good for them. But some of them who too eager to be success, until willing to hurt their own friend, for them feel satisfied to be on top. Yes, the jealous person often compared themselves to other. They feel weak from other people, so to compete, they will try to bring the person they envy to the same level with them.

You still can develop yourself by compete with other person but it needed to remove the envious and jealousy to make it stay as positive competition. Change the perspective to a motivation or inspiration to be better. We all might feel jealous in our lives but that was our duty to understand and fix our jealousy problems. While others who failed to understand it and has no awareness to change that, only become envious and full of hatred.

"Melihat kejayaan orang lain sebagai motivasi.

Melihat kebahagiaan orang lain sebagai satu inspirasi.

Maaf, saya tidak percaya dengan iri hati untuk menjadi lebih baik".

~azah

Favorite Tv Show - Merlin 4

2012-02-03T16:59:00.000+08:00

My current favorite tv show after Rookie Blue is Merlin Season 4. I was a big fan of Merlin from season 1 to 3 and this year the season 4 was finally on showing at Diva Channel every Monday 9 p.m..

Merlin 4 Synopsis

After Uther dead, Arthur replaced his father to be King of Camelot. As Arthur became a King, he fight hard to be a good King. With helps from his old friends - Merlin, Gaius, Guinevere and his knights fights for Camelot protection from threats. Morgana continues to plot revenge on Camelot, and Agravaine, an uncle of Arthur who wanted to see Arthur die. Morgana also fight hard to find who was Emrys, a man who will kill her in her destiny. But can she discover it? That Emrys, the great sorcerer is Merlin.

------

Merlin 4 have 13 episodes and so far I have watched Episode 8th and can't wait for episode 9, to see Arthur propose Guinevere to be his wife. The skinny Collin Morgan still got me in the heart with his funny cute face and cute smile, This is an amazing story to watch and get serious and smile with it.

My Desk

2012-01-31T20:44:00.000+08:00

My desk at teacher room.

Still have big empty space and I dislike the color of sampul.

huhu.

Definitely must do something to change it.

History of Life #2 - Learn to be a Friend

2012-01-29T07:07:00.000+08:00

One of the most wonderful moment I have in my life when I have trusted friends. Though I have experienced bad moments at secondary school, being bullied, being stabbed, being laughed and being messed. But I feel amazing when I was 18, I begin to meet several persons who became my trusted friends till now.

"To have trusted friend, you must be a friend first." -Army Wives.

Why sometimes people don't want to be our friend? The first thing we must observe is ourselves, not observe someone else fault. When I was 18, I realize that I have some bad attitude that annoyed my friends. They loved me so they told me what was my problem. Sometimes, we thought that we have make everything perfect and good enough but sometimes, we failed to look closely the problem we have brought to other. Example, the attitude of hot tempered, selfishness, envious and dislike to concede. Friendship is a relationship between two or more persons, so to tolerance is important to keep the friendship ongoing.

I truly believe that every person wanted to have a trusted friend. How independent are you, how strong and heartless are you, you still want someone who you could trust and be a real friend for you. Even when you already have boyfriend or girlfriend, or perfect siblings. You will want to have real friend. Not as a companion to shop, or as an ornament beside you, but as friend that you can hope and be together to pursuing life. You will always wanted a real friend, not a follower isn't it?

If you already have one or two trusted friends, appreciate them and never do something if you dislike they do the same to you. It is pathetic when you already have one, and you hurt them without any reason.

A real friend do fight, but they forgive and move on.

Friend's Wedding

2012-01-28T22:59:00.000+08:00

I went to my friend's wedding.

She was my friend when I was Form 6.

She is nurse married to police officer.

May God bless them. amin.

Mara Interview & Penang Short-travelled

2012-01-28T10:59:00.000+08:00

I have interview for MRSM teacher with MARA at Institut Latihan Kecemerlangan Mara at Sungai Jawi, Pulau Penang. So last Tuesday I went to Butterworth and stayed at my friend's place. We studied together at night for inteview preparation. We wanted to try this interview and assumed it as our experience to prepare our big interview with Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Awam next week.

From Bertam, we, five intended teachers and my father's friend drove us to Sungai Jawi in 35 minutes. We arrived at 9.30 a.m.. My friend and I went early and registered in one group (6peoples). Then we entered in one room as a group in front of three panels. We have given several questions and everyone have chance to speak out.

Questions about history course:

Huraikan bentuk-bentuk penentangan orang Melayu terhadap penjajahan British.
Mengapa orang British mudah masuk ke Tanah Melayu.
Mengapa orang British menganggap wira Melayu sebagai pemberontak?
Nyatakan kelebihan diri anda sebagai guru sejarah.

My other friends got questions about DEB, Sejarah Penubuhan Malaysia and anything related to Malay history. We have been interviewed in 30-45 minutes. No ikhtisas and current issues questions like we expected. My counseling got theories questions and they needed to speak in English why they wanted to be MRSM teacher. The interviews ongoing from 25-27 January 2012 and almost 1200 intended teachers came for interviews.

We, five intended teachers finished our interviews at 12 p.m.. Then my friend's father brought us to Penang and have a short-travelled.

Shot on ferry.

Shots at Padang Mahkota.

Cenotaph for glorious dead.

Penang Trishaw.

Taman Kota Lama.

Them.

Birds.

Dates.

If you come to Padang Mahkota,
it's recommended to try Pasembur. :)

Pick anything you liked.

and eat like us.

My friend's father drove us around Penang and back to home.
This is few shots I took from moving car.

Tilt is art. :p

Penang town.

Penang bridge.

Undeniable, Penang have many uniqueness historical buildings,
I really enjoy taking pictures there.

Phrase.1

2012-01-27T20:06:00.001+08:00

"Melihat kejayaan orang lain sebagai motivasi.

Melihat kebahagiaan orang lain sebagai satu inspirasi."

See A Problem in Positive Side

2012-01-23T06:48:00.000+08:00

How many times your heart been broken, been torn apart, been shredded? By who? Strangers, friends, enemies? I guess it all happen usually to us everyday, from small matter to big matter. But what is truly matter is how we look at our problems and issues. Do you always bring up the small problem like a germ to the most biggest issue in the world or you just sees the big problem like a small matter for you? Tell your mother, tell your father, complain and mutter about problems that never end in your life.

I have been broken-hearted in the whole 20 years, since my own father left me when I was five. I truly torn apart every time my teachers ordered me to fill a personal particulars of father in student prospectus. But I stopped look at it as big issue since a long time ago and yes the issue still there but I move on. We can't have happy time everyday. Problems and issues will always there. The only different is only how we deal with it. Do you let yourself in anger zone because of you thought you have the biggest problem in the world? Remember, if you deal the problem with anger, it could destructive and harm your personal life. You may find yourself alone and no friend.

It could be worse when you look at your problem in negative side and you start to curse and blame everyone else. Probably you wish they will befall disaster and take revenge. But clearly, your problem still ongoing. The only solution to deal with problem is see a problem in a positive side.

Be optimistic - Impeachment at workplace is a chance for you to ripen and increase your skills.

Stand for your right - You can come clean to clear the problem but after evaluate the goodness and badness.

Be accountable and responsible - Don't blame the problems in your life on other people, don't always believe that you are always right. The only person who controlled your life is only yourself.

Forgive and forget - The brilliant person is a person who could forgive other people sincerely. But if you realize that was your mistake, it wasn't bad at all if you apologize.

Move on - When you upset just move on, walkaway immediately. Don't see so much details on issue. Bringing up the small issue is a disaster of your personal life. You probably choose to come clean, but you must be responsible for it.

Don't be intense and quick temper - Don't quickly angry if you have trouble or problem. Think it slowly and ask someone else opinion about it. If you let yourself be intense and failed to control you temper, you likely find yourself alone, because no one like to be with grumpy. It's recommended for you to stay calm and relax when you deal with the problem.

Don't hold grudges, and take revenge - Other can do anything bad to you, let them be. But you must never do something bad to other. If clearly they do something terrible for you, you probably mad. You could think many solutions to solve it but never take revenge to other. If you do so, you clearly similar with people you hate. Don't wish bad thing happen to other, but wish someday they will realize about it.

Problem is an impeachment for us to learn from mistake. If you let yourself fall because of small matter, you just weak yourself. See the problem in small matter, see them in positive side. It wasn't detrimental or unprofitable for us, despite it can re-created attitude and constructed body resistance to be immune from life problems.

Week 1 on School - Setting My Head

2012-01-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

I haven't receive my teaching schedule this week. So I was bored and nothing much to do at school on my first week. So I cut few little cards and bring to school. I went to library and read history books. I found books about illustrated history. Quite interesting and I start doodling. When I relief other teacher in classes, I shared my little cards to students.

It's ironic, something unpredictable for me to return to my old school. A school I left about 8 years ago never turned back. I intended not to reveal who I was actually at first day because I would like to be treat like other without they know who I was. But when I looked at my teachers, I felt guilty not to tell them.

Honestly, I feel awkward a little bit to return to teaching profession. From designing job to teaching job, I guess lot of homework I need to do. Setting back my head programs. Lot books, lot knowledge and lot experiences. Especially when I have two big interviews in the next two weeks. From laziness last year, I hope this year will be productive year for me. Yes, undeniable I feel tense and stress with hectic life, but what matter for me when I can get over it with controlling emotions and actions. It means, I feel success when I can let myself enjoy in those kind of situation.

So, I aim to upgrade my teaching skills, read more academic books, control the emotion intelligence, keep compose arts, and keep learning.

History of Life #1 - Learned To Smile

2012-01-17T22:54:00.000+08:00

Something old about myself. When I was eighteen I got some issue about smile, I don't smile on camera. Indeed, I make straight face without any smile and putted some serious muscle on my face. When I was in National Service, my friends asked me to smile. But I just failed.

"Why you don't smile?" They asked.

"I don't know, I dislike it" I answered.
"Why?"
....

"Maybe I don't have beautiful smile.." I closed the conversation.

It happened all the time. One day, I met someone who have same problem with me. He never smiled to anyone, to camera, to girls except his male friends. My friends told me that he always been serious and never smiled. "He's weird" I said. "Yeah, he is. But you weird too..", my friend teased me. I looked at my friend and like what? I kept think about it all nights, treasured all the questions. The day after that, I met him again. My friend asked me to greet him.

"You try la. Who know he will smile at you back. But remember not to fall in love with him. Haha. But he's quite cute..", my friend giggled.

"Never, ever. Fall to him? No..no.. Okay, I'll try to say hi to him", my voice vibrated.

I walked slowly, headed to him. I waited the right moment and when he walk in front of me. I just, mmmm.. "Hi.." I sounded nervous. His eyes unlocked and low, but he spontaneously replied me.."Hi.." too. I unintentionally smiled, as if I won the gold medal.

Did I won the medal gold? No. He never smiled at me. I met him so many times but still he stayed with his cold face. "Why is he not smile?" I wondered. "Maybe he is so poyo and weird?", my friend answered. "But I see something in him, in his serious face...."

Two months later...

My friends and I spent a beautiful evening in a dorm. We looked at our pictures at beach, camp and bus. "Hey Azah, you smiled in this picture! Look, it's beautiful.".. I looked at our pictures and I saw him in our picture. Did I smiled because of him?

Somehow, I left my notebook to him. Our national service almost reached at tail-end. And in 3 months I knew him, I wasn't sure if he know my name. Suddenly, he came to me and returned my notebook. I looked at him, natural face no tight muscle.

I opened my notebook,

"To Azah, I like your smile"

And he did smiled to me for the very first time. My friend noticed that, "Azah, he just smiled at you!".... Since that day, I began to smile. Smile to camera, to people, to bad day and to him.

I learned - it never need to have beautiful face to have beautiful smile. But it certainly wasted if you don't smile when you can be look so good in it.

Resign

2012-01-14T07:21:00.002+08:00

Today will be my last day working here.
After almost 4 months,
I finally resign my job as Graphic Designer.

Judge By Appearance

2012-01-11T13:04:00.006+08:00

I have no idea why several persons judged a person by appearance only. What clothes they wear, what style they brought or what looks they have? In my personal opinion, I don't think that is a good idea to stereotype people by appearance only. I actually don't understand it. This world is big and complex, every peoples are individuals and full with variation of attitudes, skills and colors, though they wore the same dresses. If you judge a person by appearance only, it could show you live in a small world.

The real world wasn't a fiction like the world in television. In television, the angel face played a good role. In real world, we don't need innocent face to have good attitude. They may have a devil face, but have a good heart. That is why in real world we shouldn't judge a person by their looks only. But if you did, now I know you live in a box of television.

So, how to judge a person? By instinct? (Read my view-how to trust your instinct). By books? By Degree? Or by Mercedes? If you say yes, you are exactly live in a small world and in television. Huhu.

Believe me, no one like to be judged. Especially during the first meet. It such like a book being judged by his cover only. Yeah, the book have no heart, but human did have it. The best way to judge a person is by their behaviour - how they respect you and other peoples. Look how they respect other people, especially to older or younger and look what they comment about their enemies, how they handle their anger. Why I say "respect" because respect is the key of tranquility in all relations. I mean, if someone lack of respect, who want to be with them?

But still it is complicated to stereotype which is good or which is not. Because we are all human beings. To label a person in bad and good wasn't easy like tag a person in Facebook. Everyone make mistake included myself. That is why we were encouraged to learn, to read to analyse. To learn what? Learn from life and experiences, cultures and learn from mistakes. To judge and stereotype people because you think they can't fit your 'beautiful appearance', is actually the act of stiffnecked.

p/s : - Favorite quote "Judge them not by appearances or what other people said, but how they treat and respect you."

Raise Your Cheek

2012-01-10T12:58:00.002+08:00

I stop my steps,

and look at you.
I raise my cheek,
and lower my eyes.

I listen when you speak,
if you wordlessly, I could talk.
I stealthily see your cheek from the edge,
and waiting it raise like mine.

It is needlessly to say hello to me.
It is needlessly call me with nicest voice.
It is needlessly those brilliant words,
It is needlessly to have good looks.

Because I wait with faith,
to see your cheek to raise
like mine.

Mengkuang Dam

2012-01-10T10:37:00.001+08:00

From my last travel last December 2011, my friend brought me to visit the beautiful lake at her hometown. She knew I always love the view of green. After lunched at Kapitan Perda, she with her nephew and I went to Tasek Mengkuang Dam at Penanti, Bukit Mertajam, Penang.

Tasek Mengkuang Dam or Empangan Mengkuang was officially opened by the former Governor, Dr. Tun Awang Bin Hassanin 1985. (source:). It is an artificial lake which was the largest dam at Penang.

Sorry. Blur.

Mengkuang Dam popular as a place for recreation. People come for jogging, trekking, hiking, playing badminton, soccer, feeding fish, and also for wedding photography. The beautiful landscape and greenish view of Mengkuang Dam make lot of brides come for wedding shoots.

I visited Mengkuang Dam twice, at evening and morning. If you were there, you could see the different view at Mengkuang Dam between evening and morning. There was lot of people come at morning for jogging with friends and family. I could see tens of cars at park area at around 6-8 a.m. There are two treks for jogging, one is a 2 kilometers trek surround the dam and another one is a trek traversing wood. Many people choose to jog at a trek surround the dam because of the landscape and view.

My friend and his nephew at first trek.

At the end of first trek, you could went downstairs approach lake. You could enjoy the view closer and feed the fish. There were lot of fish, the best food to feed the fishes is plain bread. Fishes at Mengkuang Dam was smaller than fishes I have seen at City Park Seremban, Negeri Sembilan. So big and 'kuat makan'. But still I adore the view of Mengkuang, cold and fresh. If I stay here, of course this place will be my favorite place for jogging.

Tips :
If you want to come here for jogging or hiking, please choose the trek surround dam, don't go to trek traversing wood. Especially when you are female and alone.
If you intend to feed the fishes, buy plain breads at retail at your place. There is no retail available near at Mengkuang Dam.
Toilet available at Mengkuang Dam and free. hehe.
Bring your camera.

Energized

2012-01-08T18:59:00.003+08:00

Today, I refused to help my mother at her shop. Because I intended to stay at home today and attempted to doodling! I think I'm getting smart in divide job at office and a job as freelancer. Well, seriously new year resolution has given me a new strength to focus on both jobs. So this month actually I have promised to myself to work harder. Not push myself too much. But focus more and appreciate every single things in life.

I feel like it was very long time I don't draw by hand. Since I work, I often used tablet and mouse. But when I draw, I don't have problem and still okay in hand-drawing. In fact, when I see the result, I feel alive. :)

Break and Away

2012-01-08T12:48:00.002+08:00

Hush from noises,
only words play their part.
Remind us to the day we met,
forgotten the days we knew each other.

Truth seems-less-ly appear,
and every false was presented,
to satisfy a stubborn heart,
unintended to breakaway.

Hush from voices,
only poem sing his part.
Remind myself to be brave,
be sincere and not be falsified.
To untangle, to clear, and to disappear,

I break and away from you.

10 Question to ask Yourself

2012-01-07T07:33:00.001+08:00

I had posted this entry last 20 December 2010 in my art blog. A year has passed me by. But when I read back, it reminds myself to who I was, my dreams, my values, my plans in future and people who influenced my life. I knew this is reason why I blogged for, to keep reminding myself to be better person everyday, to learn and to inspired. Well, I hope you enjoy my old writing.

10 question to ask yourself:

1) If you could do anything you want to tomorrow, what would it be?

Actually I plan to complete doodle commissions. I want to do my exercise routine (jump rope, calisthenics). I want to wash my hair. Sit at home with my cousin and cat.

2) What are your core values?

Respect (I believe respect is good thing in humanity, I do respect peoples)
Humble (Humble is the key to avoid from being arrogant. I found a good article here)
Honesty (I don't like fakes or lies. I prefer to be honest and come clean. its much easier right)
Equitable (I dislike unfair things, especially when it happen to someone else. I will stand up)
Love (I dislike war, I love peace and freedom)

3) What are your special talents?

Drawing (Even I might not really good enough but it was the best gift I ever got).
I'm a guitar's beginner player (I learn guitar form the last 2 years ago, not really good, but just playing with heart).

4) What do you do better than most people you know?

Honestly I don't know because I never compare myself with anyone. I love challenge myself to better than I ever. My friend did asked this question too, and she said "We may unable to get great achievement if we don't compete with someone else"... I do agree with that but I prefer not to set my mind to do something better than peoples but doing something to better than myself and I believe I still can achieve success :)

5) What were your dreams as a child?

When we were kids, we have so much dreams. I did too. I dream to be cartoonist, to show and share my drawings to the world. Once I dream to be a teacher (I never think to be history teacher..hehe). Erm, I did dream to have boyfriend and get married, living on small home at small village. (Kecil2 da pandai pasang impian ni.hehe). I dreams to play guitar, to sew Eid Clothes for my family, to be good cooker.

6) What is the thing you are most proud of accomplishing in your life so far?

I mostly proud with myself when I have changed myself to be more patience, maturer and wiser to make decisions in my life. Getting in University have given me much experiences either in bad ways or good. I have changed to be better person, I managed to lost weight, controlling my emotion, think positive, not easily piss off, more calm, brave and I managed to solve all issues in my life by just being honest and true. I proud with myself because I have changed myself inside and outside.

I have to confess too that I have accomplished my goal by completed the thesis for my final year project. Writing about Campa History and get inspired to create doodles about this Kingdom. But I know my journey still have a long long way to go and so much things I need to do to achieve my goals.

7) What will you regret not doing in your life if you continue as you are now?

Actually I do regret once with selecting History as my course in teaching field. At the early first and second year, I was confused with the road I have choose in my life. I regret not to choose Art as my course since school. But when I was in final year, I finally realize that I did choose the right course. I still can learn art by history, currently I learn my doodles from my history books :)

8) What do you want people to say about you after you are no longer living? What is your legacy?

Erm, actually what I wanted peoples say about me when I'm gone is I want they know that this girl have failed once before in her life but she keep up her steps, back on her track and finally manage to achieve her goals just by listen to her heart. But what the most I wanted peoples to say after I'm no longer living is I want they remember me as a Campa Doodler. I hope with my venture to bring out the Campa Doodles, will always meant to them (esp. to Campa peoples). My legacy to them is my hand-drawn of Campa Doodles.

9) What do you want to do when you retire?

I want takecare of my family. Tell my children and my grandchildren about my experiences. I want spend my last time with my beloved one. I want continue drawing, teaching kid about the art I have learn in my life.

10) Outside of parents who influenced your life more than anyone else; who had an impact on your life and what was it about that person that meant something to you?

I have to write down their names :)
Fizan - He is my best friend. He had impact me the most in my life. Everytime I want to give up, he show me the way and he teach me how to be strong, to be immune from pain. I admire him so much.

PLKN members - When I was 17, I'm almost giving up with my life and suddenly I have been recall to join national service. I found lot of good friends there. They teach me how to be strong, how to love myself and we are still connecting till now. Joining plkn is the best thing in my life.

Abidah Abd Majid - She is my best friend since school. She is my beautiful friend (sometimes she said she is cold instead, hehe). When we are sitting together, we can't stop talking. She and I, we both can chat about anything include the unexplanation things. She always give me pep talks with her way. She had influence me to be what I am now (though she never realize)

They are three peoples who influence me the most in life. I love them like my gadgets..hehe
-------------------------------------------------------------

An entry from my art blog

Pudu Sentral

2012-01-05T22:14:00.000+08:00

My last visited Terminal Puduraya in 2010. After Pudu was closed in April 2010 for renovation work, I used to get bus service at Bukit Jalil Bus Station, Central Market and Hentian Putra. In April 2011, Pudu was re-opened and re-named as Pudu Sentral.

So, last December 2011, I traveled to Bukit Mertajam, my best friend's hometown and it brought myself to the new of Pudu Sentral because I needed to get bus service to Butterworth. I was alone and knew nothing about Pudu Sentral. The old Pudu I remembered was dark, crowded and hunted. It wasn't comfortable to be at a place like that. The day before I went Pudu, I googled little info and pictures of Pudu. I got video of Pudu stucture. It helpful.

A new Pudu was different, tidy, bright and beautiful. But what concerned me was ticket touts. When I got there it surprised me because I seen no touts but there was lot of security guards and Polices everywhere. When I thought everything just fine, I relieved and went to official ticket counter to buy a ticket. It shocked me when they hoist the ticket price from RM31 to RM40. The only reason they gave to me because of we bought ticket on the spot. Everyone also experienced the same. I realized they was tout of counter ticket. Such crappy way to earn more money.

Then I was informed for wait my bus at 3.30 p.m. at waiting area. When I was waiting the time to get in bus, I grab my book and read. Then I seen a man hold the mic with a cameraman. I look closely and realize they must be a tv3 crews. They interviewed people and people complained the same issue.

When time was exactly at 3.30 p.m. and I was afraid the lateness of bus arrival. So I went again to counter. And they told me that the bus was late. I wait and wait. Finally at 4.30 p.m. a man asked me to board bus. When I got on bus, I sit and lay my back. I hear the driver and his partner mumble about the excessive of bus passengers. There was several passenger who bought a ticket a week before, but couldn't make to board bus because bus was full. Soon I realize at counter they just sale the tickets with unlimited. So no wonder there was some people couldn't get into bus though they have tickets. Included myself because I was told by driver that my bus should be 3.30 p.m. but those bus was full. So they let me board bus at 4.30 p.m.

Really? Horrible.
They said, do not worry, if no bus for you, abang will send you to home.

After more than 5 hours on bus, I finally arrived at Butterworth and my friend picked me up. I told her about it. Yeah we mumble too, but atleast, an experience.

Tips :
1. Buy a ticket a day before especially during a festive seasons.
2. Bring your own food and water.
3. Bring book.

I also experienced little perplexity during at LRT which recently have use token replaced card. I was blurred for second but when I look at around me and all peoples was obscured too. I suddenly felt witty like a first time board on LRT..hehe.

Little Haikal #2 - His Story

2012-01-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

I think I should let you know who is little haikal. He's my first nephew and we called him Haikal Shin Chan. Because he obviously have lot of Shin Chan characters like naughty, hyper-active, plays almost every hours, call his mother "bomb" and the most important is Haikal love to flirt with all single girls and cute only. --" He will be 2 years old next February and he can count 1 to 10 clearly.

Play with my book. Arrr...

Now, little Haikal have a blog about his story.
Simply enjoy reading the stories written by my brother about his son. :)

Resolution : Why You Should Have it.

2012-01-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

Last 10 years ago, I was not really happy to welcomed new year. Because 10 years back, I was 15 years old teenager who lost and did not know what she wanted in life. Why I disliked new year, because I hate to remember how much time I had wasted and failed to improve myself. Every resolutions I made every year just permanently as resolution only. Now, I welcome new year with open heart. Every year, I will have a special moment to think about what I want to do the next year. From a lost teenager I become a dreamer. Maybe you'll see me as ambitious, but I am not. I am a dreamer. I have my little dreams to achieve in life but at the same time, I do dream to appreciate life.

As human, I have a resolution which I succeed to make it and I have a resolution I failed to make it. We are all make mistakes, but did we learn to fix it next year? We think about catching dream everyday, but do we learn in the whole process to catch the dreams? A dreamer run to reach his dream while appreciate and learn during the process he run into his dream. He not only success to make his dream come true but he also change to be better person by learns and experiences. When he become a successful man, he ready himself emotionally and physically.

So, when you make a resolution for yourself especially during the new year. Set a target you able to achieve. When you were in process to make it happen, just enjoy the process and experience by it. keep learn and learn. Don't afraid to make mistake, but you must brave to admit that mistake and fix it. It's okay to compete with yourself to improve. My suggestion: Do not hurt or bring people down because you want to achieve your target. Trust me, you'll not only make your dream come true but also learn to understand yourself better. :)

2011 Reflections

2012-01-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

I couldn't believe it, 2011 almost at the ends. December was the busiest months for me. I worked 6 days a week and every weekends I helped my mother at her store. I traveled almost 4 days and on public holiday I helps my mother. School holiday make her open her shop everyday without any free time to rest. I pitied her, so I sometimes helps her and let her rest at home. I have ignored myself this month, got sicked couple times and unfocus a little. It's okay, because I busied to help people I loved. I try to steal my little time to sit and think about my reflections of my entire life in 2011.

1. Practicum Teacher.

I have mentioned about it so many time. But yes, practicum have taught me to adapt myself with different environments and respect those environments without needed to change myself. I met several persons who taught me about life. I learned when to say Yes and when to say No. Been far from family have taught me to live independent, do everything by myself and solve every issues by myself. Pressure during praktikum never make me despair easily, I get up quickly and never let the frustration bring me down. I realized that I was perfectly I am when I work with students. Though I wasn't really good in relation among teachers. But I managed to adapt myself in those environment. These was my accomplishment in 2011. For what matter happened, my practicum still rock!

2. Art Journey

I appreciated myself still continue produce art from heart. In 2011, my art journey change than 2010. I let myself free and enjoy to be productive especially during my practicum season. I feel much happier when my students loved my doodles and learned history in the same time. Even though this year, I closed commission doodle for many months. But I finally create doodle lines according to my own style and I feel comfortable with it. Time ripening our skills and learn make us more creative in produce art. I also learned to defend my art and never occasionally bows to those who want to let me down. I confront art-blocked and keep strive again and again. Whatever happened I feel elated to myself for never give up on me. For 2012, I hope myself still create art from heart and be humble always.

3. Relationship

I was and still in relationship strongly with my best friend since the past 7 years. This year, I realize how much he had sacrificed for me and tried to adapt ourselves with each other. He helps me a lot during my practicum and push me when I fell down in art journey. We became maturer and never let a little misunderstood separate us. We increasingly mutual understanding this year. Our life is not like a fairy tale. To reach the happiness in life, we have to work everyday to get it.

4. Family and Friends.

This year, I spent my most time at my hometown after finished my study at uni. I finally got chance to know my sister in law closer and spent much time with my nephew. I love my sister and her mom and sisters. My small family getting bigger now and my Raya was different of course grander than before. This year also, I feel myself appreciated my friends more after so many things happen have proved our friendship ties. Since practicum, I missed them a lot. I tried to keep in touch with them and hang up together. I don't have much friends, but I have many close friends who stand by my side. hehee. I feel touched when some of them told me that she finally found herself after we met. We could discuss everything together like sisters and can rely on. I was their friends, sincerely.

5. Convocation.

Among my best moments in 2011 is my convocation day. After 4 years studied in history of education, I finally graduated with honor last July 2011. Hard work eventually paid off and that was my best day ever in campus with friends, with family and with my distance friend and his brother. What I learned from my convocation day is patient and just let the time passes, the truth will never embedded and it will arise someday. A year of 2009 was actually the most challenging year to me. Blessed from my patience since 2 years straight, God finally points to them the real me and the truth arise. Because of that, I have wonderful convocation. I still hold to it until now and if people try to dishonor me again, I have no fear. They should scare of it, because the truth will never embedded no matter how they tried. There will no regret in me but I thanked them for wise me.

6. Wonderful peoples.

I met several amazing peoples throughout this year. One of them is warden of my practicum school. I stayed with her almost 2 months. We talked a lot and every time I found her seems easily understood what I was saying. She is Tesl teacher, a year older than me. Then I met her older sister, fun and easy going teacher. I was incredibly enjoyed with them. They sometimes invited me to their home and I was happy to be part of their family. I loved when I could learn the way they show loves in their family. We went together to Micheal Learn To Rock concert at Kuantan after received free tickets from student. Another amazing person I met this year was Mama. I met Mama at Kuantan, she talked a lot and all of her words impressed me. Her knowledge, caring and humbleness make me fall in love. I still remember her advices and pep talks from her. She inspire my life. I feel grateful to meet wonderful peoples in my life. Some of them is my family, best friend and stranger. When life get hard, they poured me with smiles and hugs.

7. Blogs.

I still in love in blog. Shared what I drawn and what I have been through. On July, I create another blog which is personal site for me to write because I intended to find more inspiration in life. I noticed my blogs recent year have more visitors from local and also from all over the world. That was good development of mine.

8. Health.

I got sicked several times this year. Bad for me, because I failed to workout regularly like last year. Many times when I get inspired to workout, I fall to disappointment. When something unexpected happen and hurt me. I took some time to move on. So, this year my health dropped miserably and I wasn't happy with it. huhu. I hope it will be a lesson for me to be serious in take care of my body and health. That is important, Azah.

9. Things I learned in 2011.

I never realize, bitter experiences and perseverance in several years have strengthen me physically and emotionally. I able to handle my emotions and at the same time be honest with myself. Though I was not really strong enough like amazing people I met, but I was a little bit stronger than last year. That was a big accomplishment of mine. I learned to understand other person, try to walk a miles in their shoes, and thrown away my bad-tempered. I learn, learn and learn to maturing myself.

I also learned to be confident with everything I have. I applied a job which I never thought in my crazy mind. To be real Graphic Designer have taught me to work professionally in art and design. I was glad because I can collect more experiences. Despite I will not work as GD like forever because my priority field was a teacher, I will still remember this experiences.

Expect the unexpected. I thank to someone who showed me how a friendship can be broken just by jealousy. I let my heart wide open for her and she hurt me deliberately. But that will never make me give up on friendship, because I still hold to my friendship belief. Whoever hand me a sincere friendship, I will welcome them with open heart.

Overall this year was great for me, even though I got art-blocked and disappointment. But what make me realize, how great family and friends I have. I have my best friend on my back, great friends I can ask help anytime and great family. They just proved me that I was worth for them when I was in disappointment moments. Ah yes, I am on my way to write my wishlist for 2012. Happy new year.

Travel - Bukit Mertajam, Seberang Perai & Kulim, Kedah

2011-12-28T12:19:00.001+08:00

Here I'm back after four days off. Exhausted but inspire with the place I traveled. In my solo travel from west to north. Not so North, I went to my best friend's hometown at Bukit Mertajam, Seberang Perai. I stayed at her home two days and 3 nights.

Actually I have been to her place many times since I was in second semester at uni. My mother and my brother gave me a green light. Since that, I often follow my random friends to their houses. Every time I follow them to their houses, I already set in my mind that it is my journey, not just a vacation to have fun. To journey, to travel and to find inspiration by learn about other cultures, behaviors, family relations, and to inspire myself.

"To travel and learn about other cultures, just go to their farmer market"

The first day - I went alone to Pudu Sentral to buy ticket and board bus to Butterworth. I was alone and know nothing about the new Pudu. My last time at Pudu was last year. But after search on Google, I board the right bus and start my journey. Bring my old book, little black dress and read on bus. Intended to finish it.

What I like about when I board on bus to Butterworth, I love the view on highway. Almost at Penang state border, the view of hills, caves and the stones absolutely stunning. I never bored with those view. From 4.30 p.m., I arrived at 9.30 p.m. because of traffic jam. My friend picked me up. I rest at her room and we chat till 2.30 a.m.

Two days at her home. She brought me to several places I never been before. I told her that don't worry too much about where to bring me, I want to go some place to chill and peace at her hometown, and have a long talk with her.

Bendang at Padang Manora

Tasik Mengkuang Dam.

On Ferry.

Cowrasta

Char Koew Teow Sungai Dua.

Tandori Kapitan Perda.

We also went to Kulim by a motorcycle and watch 2 movies at Giant Kulim and Jusco Perda. Stayed at my friend home and be served like their own family make me feel bless and happy. One thing I love when I follow my friends to their house is to learn about their relationship among family and siblings. I see them without any judgement and try to learn the way they showed loves. Every family are unique. I love to hold their mother's hand and give a kiss every time we want to go out. In fact, it teach me to appreciate peoples who nice to me and accept them for who they are.

I love when I can learn something from traveling. Actually, I never knew the 'travel' word, everytime I go to some place I called it journey (mengembara). When I read about travel entry from EmilaYusof, I think and yeah travel is one more word for "mengembara". Aha, I managed to finish my reading on bus. Thank you to my friend and her beautiful family.

Fix A Heart

2011-12-28T11:51:00.001+08:00

It's Demi again. She's like my best friend at secondary school. They shared the same birthday. About the song, some said this song about her depression and cuts problem. Some said this song about a relationship ending. Maybe this song stimulate me to unburden what unseen.

I actually have lost someone recently. Someone who I thought a friend, not just ordinary friend but a good friend, perhaps I assumed her as my young sister though we never meet. We support each others, on blog, on facebook. We met recently, what surprised she give me no smile, no greet, no hug, no lovely words like she always did online. Seems like she is different person I knew on blog. I come from far to meet her, I already plan what I want to discuss with her, I thought we will be great girlfriends. Maybe I was too full of hopes.What I get from her is only a cold person. But I don't give up easily. I tried to get her closer by asking her favorite things, I tried to remind her about our friendship on blog. But she seems busy to show me how great she was and how bad other people to her. I look into her eyes and I think that I want grab her hand tell her that she already beautiful to me. But I wonder where are my lovely friend I have on blog and facebook?

Several peoples explained the reason why she did that to me. Why she become so mean to me. I was broken-hearted not because of those cold words, but I have lost a friend because of the envious. Though she did that to me, I just smile and respect. I might a strong girl like what my friend told me, because I managed to face people like that. But guess what, I wept on bus whole way back to home. It not pain if we were hurt by a stranger, but it is full of pains when we hurt by someone who we already love and close.

I don't know what the best for her but I finally choose to walkaway. Maybe this is the best for her. Maybe without my existence, she will appreciate more herself and people who sacrificed for her. Without need to try to compete with me anymore, so I leave and let her win.

No More, Okay.

2011-12-22T17:37:00.000+08:00

I don’t know why,
After all this times I tried to keep strong.

But tonight,
my eyes let go the tears.
My heart let the scar bleeds.
My mind let me think I will die tonight..
Then my feet let me walk across the river,
And I sit there alone in the darkness..
I close my eyes,
So no more tears fall down..

But I keep thinking that I’m not strong enough,
I let me in myself disappear slowly…..
And let myself think all over again,
I might die tonight…………
I wanna die tonight…

No more..
I say no more…
That is what they want me to do,
to give up with my life..
But I don’t want to do what they want,
I stand up and say,
no more, okay.

~ Azah : Original poem in March 10, 2008

Invited

2011-12-22T10:41:00.001+08:00

My friend invited me to her house at Seberang Prai. Yes, we missed each other a lot though we shy to convert it in words.

She is one of my friends who support my art journey without any doubt feeling on me.

So I got four days off. By tomorrow I will board bus to Penang. It's my solo travel to find inspiration. Thanks to her because always know when I need her.

Psychée

2011-12-21T17:47:00.001+08:00

"If only"
is a wish too late.

After Rain

2011-12-21T15:57:00.001+08:00

I loves rain.

Especially in the late evening.

The cold wind make me calm.

I loves rain.

When I board on bus,

watching raindrops behind glass window.

When I board on taxi,

watching the wet golden shower flowers.

When I ride pillion on my friend's motorcycle,

and rains over us.

We pulled up at bus stop and see cars soaked by rains.

I loves rain

it's such unbearable crying ,

releasing to the utmost entirely.

And after rain,

the sun start to shine.

I close my parasol and re-start my journey.

Envy To Compete

2011-12-21T10:26:00.000+08:00

When I was exposed to blogger world, I was another happier person who want to have my own blog. Because i want to have a site to share my arts, my writings, my thoughts and my dreams here. Never have intention in my little heart to show off about what I have. The only intention in myself is to appreciate every little things happen in my days, so I will remember it forever. Every persons who read my blog, if they know me better, I am only simple girl who love doing art sincerely from all my heart.

But I don't know why several peoples I know who I thought they are my actual friends on blog, finally shock me with their competitive nature. Say something hurt to tease and to bring me down verbally. Sometimes it breaking my heart because I come sincerely to be their friends and be treated like an enemy. I suddenly think maybe you read my blog too much and think that what I wrote here is to show off. Then you start to compete. I don't know why must jealous or envy with other people. Everytime I saw someone else's success, it will brought me only a big feeling and that is an inspiration. So where the jealous come from?

I respect everyone passions and dreams with support and honest words. I don't envy and I don't block anyone just to make myself feel better. I am only Azah, I easily gain body weight but I never jealous to skinny people. Because I believe everytime I workout I got triple benefits, new body, good health and inspiration to compose art.

Stop compare yourself with other, stop being jealous with other. If you want to compete with me, I'm uninterested not because I'm loser. Because I rather sit and appreciate my HL milk, than wasting my time to chase you. Don't say that you compete in positive way, because those harsh words from you show me the opposite. Don't say that is how you develop yourself by compete with other. I only believe compete with ourselves to be better.

What matter for me is what I wrote and showcased here from the bottom of my heart. Blogging is not like facebook, we share our thoughts, not to showing off our properties. If you want to take that as challenge to you, stay away from me. Don't come here and pretend that you're my friend and then I could see your envious in you. I am here for sincere friends only. Real friends never envy, but inspire.

Little Heykal

2011-12-20T12:19:00.001+08:00

After closed my mother shop, we drop at petrol station.

Little Haikal (2 years old on February next year)

was excited to see Nepal man filling car oil.

The talking one was my sister in law, she talk about winning the prize

and I grab my phone recording her son. :D

See at 0.09 my nephew smile he thought I want to catch his picture.

0.25 my little giggle.

Haikal got fever now, I hope he will get better soon.

2011-12-19T11:10:00.002+08:00

A Thousand Years.

Follow Me

2011-12-17T16:42:00.001+08:00

Yesterday I walk home as usual after work. I saw a bunch of kids ride their bikes. They just about six to ten years olds. Do you remember the story I have posted about Couple of Ducks. Yeah, the same kids.

I walk by myself while texting my friend. Then I heard some tiny laugh behind me. When I look at my back, I saw that kids following me. I feel weird. I hear a little girl say,

"Nak ikut ke? Nanti sampai malam macam mana?"

The boys say, "Ikut je...hehe"

Owh they want to follow me. Yeah, try to disturb me like what they did to the ducks. Lucky them I'm not the ducks can chase them. haha. I just continue walk and text my friend. Tell him that few kids are now following my back. My friend reply that they want to flirt la tu.. I walks almost everyday passing their home and no doubt they know me. Ooo. want to play yea. I make poker face and walk into my house. At outside fence, I overheard they whisper,

"Bukan rumah dia kot"

I walk into my house and look at them. I laugh a little. Naughty kids. haha. They thought my house would be far. Then a boy yell to me,

"Esok kami ikut lagi..."

Takde kerja nak main2 pulak. Dush..Dush..aha.

See, naughty kids loafing in front of my mother's house.

2011-12-17T10:31:00.000+08:00

"Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies." - Elizabeth Bowen.

But how about act to against smiling friends?
Say something mean to abuse,
treat them roughly,
just because you feel deficiency in thyself. Too sad.
Because friends does not envy, enemies may does.

Having Them

2011-12-16T16:23:00.000+08:00

Having someone who take care about you is something sweet.

Having some peoples who love you the same is something beautiful.

Having several persons who understand you,

Having peoples who trust and believe in you,

without you need to explain why, without you need to tell them,

they just know your feeling.

Having peoples who support and stand by you, is something thankful.

Having them in my life is something precious.

Thank you.

Picture

Text

2011-12-15T22:02:00.000+08:00

The last time I was at Sabs School is 7 months ago. And still got texts from students is sweet thing make me smile. They are like my little friends, pampered, funny, crazy and make me laugh. Sometimes make mad. haha. Gosh, I miss them so.

Senyumlah

2011-12-15T14:46:00.000+08:00

"senyumlah, walaupun terluka..bukan berpura-pura tapi sebagai tanda anda seorang yang kuat, kuat untuk tak membiarkan kesakitan dan kelukaan itu menjadi penghalang untuk bergembira..simpan tangisanmu, Allah melihat dan mengetahuinya.."

Beautiful words and sincere doodle from Miss Mel Amalina.

Sincerity And Kindness

2011-12-15T00:59:00.000+08:00

"Not property we looked for,

sincerity and kindness that we wanted the most.

When something happen and make us sad,

try to flashback those beautiful moments

and remember his kindness to us.

Don't forget the hardship in the past life,

when we are in comfort zone,

we will be grateful always and humble."

Ma, I will never forget this words.

Puss In Boots

2011-12-14T14:54:00.001+08:00

I watched Puss In Boots last Monday. It's feel like a very long time I didn't let myself enjoy and have some fun. I work on weekdays and weekends, I help my mother at her shop. And unfortunately, I finally got sick last week and I still try to recover this week.

So last Monday was public holiday for Selangor state. I went to Jusco near at my place, bought a ticket and regular popcorn for myself.

Puss In Boots

Puss In Boots is actually a supporting character in Shrek. I remember his cute adorable eyes. Hehe. Puss is a male cat wearing boots and hat with his sword. Puss (play by Antonio Banderas) before he meets Shrek, he stayed at small town and raised by his mama at orphanages. He meet Humpty Alexander Dumpty (the egg) and they promises to be brothers forever.

One day, Puss have saved old woman in the village. The incident has amazed villager to puss. Puss was awarded a pair of boots and hat. Since that Puss was known as Puss in Boots.

But Humpty greed have caused Puss are accused as bank robber. Puss run and escape himselves. One day, Puss run into small town and meet peoples in a bar who told him about magic beans. They said that beans that can lead him to a giant's castle holding valuable golden goose eggs. When Puss try to steal magic beans from Jack and Jill, he was interrupt by a masked cat. The masked cat was a female cat named Kitty Softpaws (plays by Salma Hayek).

Then Puss meet his old friend, Humpty. Humpty apologize to Puss about the old issue happen to them and ask Puss to join him to steal magic beans. With Humpty's intelligence create perfect plan, they succeed steal magic bean. They plan the beans at the right spot and the fast-growing beanstalk lead them into the clouds and they found the castle like what they been heard of.

They succeed to steal Goose and reach so many Golden Eggs. But later Puss found out that Humpty lie again to him. But at the end, they combine to rescue their village from golden goose mother.

Review

This is real funny story about cutest cat ever. I think Mr. Antonio Banderas plays the voice of Puss character with super awesome. There so many funny parts can make you laugh. About the tale of magic beans, I guess we all hear about it since we were little. This is so great fairytale in Puss in Boots. Puss, firstly found in Shrek, then start his single adventure in this movie, I think Puss easily popular with his own adventure and his adorable style. My only complain is there are some plots in film was little flow and too long maybe. Especially in dance scene. Still they are adorable. Can help it :D

Pictures

Thanks Ibu

2011-12-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

Ibu call me today. And we talk about work, health and day. She knew what inside my heart and tell me to stay strong. She tell me not to worry too much. Just stay what we are and ignore it.

I cry, after a very long time. I finally let the tears fall.

Thank you Ibu. For never doubt on me. I feel so much better.

Trust Your Instinct

2011-12-11T20:07:00.001+08:00

Everyone have instinct. Whether you trust it or not, instinct influence your life mainly in making decision. Journey to trust your instinct wasn't happen in one night or one week. It take years and experiences. It is like a young cop learn to trust his instinct to investigate criminal. He learns from every cases he investigate and get better in trusting his instinct. It is important to trust your instinct, to believe your inner feelings when you get uncomfortable about a person or situation.

Instinct helps you to sense danger, and safety. It tells you when to wait, when to take action, who to trust and who not to trust. It helps you to make good choice is buying product like car, home, cellphone etc. According to a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research, people who deliberate about decisions make less accurate judgments than people who trust their instincts. (source:)

Not all of us agreed that we should trust our instinct. But in my own experiences, I begin to trust my instinct. Recent months, I realize that my first instinct always tend to be correct. Few years back, I hate to trust it because some of my friends claimed that just another negative and cliche thoughts. But now after have so much experiences and learning from every mistakes, me and my friend realize I should pay more attention to my first instinct.

"Trust your instincts—or he won’t trust you." Rookie Blue.

Neglecting your instinct can make your life ruin in just a second. You ignore your gut and when something happen and blows up on your face. And you aren't ready for it in mentally and physically. You'll be disappoint and ruin. I have let go my instinct so many times because I don't want people think I judge them, but at the end myself will suffer with terrible disappointment because I don't listen to my instinct. When I try to fix it, it too late.

"Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself." Oprah Winfrey

How to trust your instinct?

Before you learn to trust your instinct, you have to remember that journey to learn in trusting your instincts wasn't happen in just one night. It may take years or maybe short from that, depend to your experiences, learning process and your heart willing to take any risks in trusting your instinct.

1. Make some experiment about your instinct at home.

Watch movie on your dvd player or laptop or television, pick any of your favorite movie. Follow the scenes and listen to your gut and instinct what will happen next and why. This is for test to know if your instinct were correct or wrong. I love watching CSI and Rookie Blue. Because every time I watch it, I always turn on my instinct and trust on it. I may correct, I may wrong but I will find the reason why I was wrong and why I was right. So I learn from it.

2. If you want to purchase any product, try to trust your instinct.
If you want to buy a car, or maybe a book, or to buy present for your love. First you may think about the benefit and weakness for each products. But don't think it too much. Make sure you limit the option, maybe from 5 items, you limit it to 2 items.. Trust your inner voice, which one better and grab it. Trust your instinct. Find out whether your instinct correct or wrong.

3. Be confident in trusting your instinct.
This is important, if you believe that your instinct have proved to you they were correct. Then stick with it. Every time you face a bigger problems, try to trust on it. If you don't feel comfortable with certain people, try not to behave like what you think they will not like it. It will tell you how to do and how to respond if something happen. Don't ignore your instinct. You may regret later.

4. Strengthen your heart and don't give up.
In journey to trust your instinct, you must willing to take all risks. If you fail and your instinct were wrong. You must recover from it and start it all over again. Don't give till you understand how instinct works with you. Different people, different instinct. But it works for everyone of us.

5. Don't judge people by your instinct.
Instinct, gut and intuition is a gift to human. We have an unique sense to help us to pursue our life. It's like our ability to notice what will happen to us next. If your instinct tell you those person are dangerous, so stay away. If your instinct tell you those person have bad intention to you, ignore them but stay careful. If your instinct tell that those person didn't match with you and you will not get along with them, then try to treat them in particular way without fomenting. I mean, you can trust your instinct, but not to lose your respect to other. Or it will turn from instinct to judgement.

6. Contrast between Instinct and Stereotyping.
We use our instincts to learn about others for our survival. But to have ability in trusting instinct, it takes lot of times and experiences to master the instinct technique. You must willing to learn from your own mistakes. If it not you'll misunderstanding to use instinct to stereotyping peoples, places and things. Stereotyping is one of oldest human instinct, it is a natural survival instinct. But life is full of unique and complex things. To trust your instinct doesn't mean you have to stereotype everything in the same way.

Example:
"All artists are not athlete, artist don't know how to workout and play sport" Okay, this one I heard from sport teacher who I met at my practicum school. This is so wrong to stereotyping people. It's like you judge people just because you think you master particular field. I proved her wrong, I win the 2nd place in school cross country.

Most stereotypes are dictated by prejudice and with single perspective. Whereas instinct is inner voice that not tells us to be prejudice. It tells us if it sense the unsafe or any danger thing near with us.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Learn the right technique to trust your instinct. If you not master it now, don't worry. Just keep learning from what you have learned and treasure every problems. Learn from your mistakes and don't stop continue learn more. It will wise you more in future, it will change your views and perspectives to be better.

"It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it, and appropriately act on it." - Stephen Covey

Trust Your Instinct,

Azah Skaliskala.

Two Cute Things

2011-12-11T12:11:00.000+08:00

I walk home like usual last evening.

And I met two cute things sitting at roadside.

I walk and call them.

I was afraid cars will bumped them.

Because they are so small.

So, I transfer them to the safe place,

and say goodbye.

They are too cute, isn't it?

Personality Test

2011-12-11T08:30:00.000+08:00

I went to Ujian Personaliti Mara at Kolej Profesional Mara Beranang yesterday morning for Mara Teacher. After Governant keep doing 'good deeds' for us since 7 months. Some of us decide to try other teacher jobs. Yes, I still working as Graphic Designer, it is my 3rd months. But for my real dream job, I want to be a teacher. Since I post about my relationship with teenager, I suddenly miss my students, I miss everything about teaching. I miss helping them studying history at hostel, I miss helping a poor student to fight back the bully, I miss every words I have said to them to keep moving forward. Because every time I helps my students, I help myself too.

This is my first time applying Mara Teacher. I heard that this is the second year Mara do Ujian Personality to select teachers. It have 160 questions and the answers only Yes or No in 45 minutes. My tips is just be yourself. There are some tricky recur questions and all of questions was about to test your leaderships, relations, cooperation, tolerance, your style, how you handle stress etc.

"Anda sukakan kanak-kanak"

"Suka bersendirian pada waktu petang dari melibatkan diri dalam aktiviti berkumpulan"

"Senang berterus terang dengan kawan-kawan tentang masalah peribadi"

"Anda rasakan diri anda gagal apabila orang lain membuat kerja yang sama dengan anda lebih baik daripada anda"

"Hanya suka membuat kerja tanpa arahan dari orang lain"

"Mudah mesra dengan orang yang baru dikenali"

"Akan terus menyiapkan kerja yang belum sempurna walaupun ramai yang telah menarik diri"

"Selesa meminta semula barang yang dipinjamkan kepada kawan"

I left Dewan 15 minutes before test ends.hehe. Lot of peoples took the test yesterday. I guess the competition will become competitive. I met several friends from my university there. The succeed Individual would be called for second stage interview (15 minutes micro- teaching) and the third interview was interview face to face. Now wait and see where our good fortune.

Goodluck teachers!

Change

2011-12-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Everyone think of changing the world,

but no one think of changing ourselves.

Bloggers Respect

2011-12-09T16:16:00.000+08:00

I have been blogging almost 4 years. I began with lone blog without any visitor. Now I have more than two hundreds visitor hits everyday on my art blog. My personal bog was a bit 'personal' still, but I have few visitors click through my blog everyday. I share about my writings, my thoughts and my dreams here. To be exact what I wrote here, was about my research to my behaviour, my thought and my respon to certain situations.

And to self grow.

I wrote about my daily life, what I do, what I want to do. Like art, draw, work, exercise, music, hobby, instinct and idea. I may write about what I dislike, what I bother. But I write with respect. I may write about I dislike purple pink color. But it ain't mean I dislike people who like purple color. I write about how I want to look skinny muscle, I want to burn fat or anything. It ain't mean I dislike fat or skinny peoples.

I still hang out with my chubby and skinny bone friends. They never think that I have a prejudice to their body. They know I respect them for what they are. I still go out with my girlie pinky girl, I don't mind at all. I don't wear that, that and that, but it ain't mean, I don't respect that, that and that.

When I blogwalking, I don't mind your blogs about make ups, shawls, sports, weight loss journey, personal life and thoughts, or arts. I read you with respect. Respect your style, preference and experience. Your can write about your likes, your dreams etc. As long as you speak the truth, as long as you not offend any.

I'm a respectful person and I respect everyone. Though someone may not give a respect, I still respect them.

Teenager Best Friend

2011-12-09T10:22:00.000+08:00

I feel close to teenager. When I was at school as practical teacher, I had great time with them. I stayed at hostel during my practical and time pass with student at evening, play guitar and hang up with them. I realize this is perfect job for me. Because I feel comfortable with them.

Some may said, teenager don't own ego, everyone can be close with them. Perhaps, but in my experience in teaching, I found teenager also have ego. They are stubborn and tend to do something without think the consequences. When they dislike you, they will never let you close with them. They can show some pride. They are pampered and mincing but they are active and have a true heart. I feel comfort with them because they easy to show their feelings and emotions. Even if they mad with me, they tell me the reason from their pure heart.

Teacher, you look pale today.
Teacher, this is the wrong answer.
Teacher, you grow some fat at your cheek.

When they say that, they say with honest and clean. Without trying to judge or to let anybody down. Or to compete. I love them either boys or girls. Some of them I meet already have a respect, some of them need to learn respect. But this is why I love to be with them. No matter how stubborn they are, they still can confess their fault and learn from it. One thing I love to be with teenager, they always appreciate every little things. You can see they put little doll on their school bag. They put some small card at their exercise book. They still keeping gift from their teacher. You probably think yes of course they're teenager. But what I learn from them, though you are adult now, you have to learn from these teenager, learn to appreciate your little thing.

I become a teacher with reason. People might think, that ordinary job or not so cool job or whatever they might think. But it is actually amazing. Perhaps, not all teacher agreed with what I have done with my students. During my practicum I have posted at my facebook about my giveaway at school and I remember on those day, so many students kept looking at me to grab giveaway. Yeah, they asked so many teachers where to find me, and it blows up some buzz among teachers. We imported McDonald to our class for farewell party. That also raise a provocation in school administration until my class students received a warning. But what they (my students) said to me, they say we have good memories with you teacher, so no regret.

That is why I love them. No matter what happen, they still appreciate the good moment and not try to avoid from to admit offence respective. In fact they were still together.

A Couple Of Ducks

2011-12-06T16:25:00.001+08:00

Everyday after work, I walk home almost 500 meters a day.

After board a cab, I walk alone by myself. It's like a long road for me. I can even think and write on my cellphone about what I have through on that day. I walk passing every houses and every house have kids playing at yard, old woman sitting and talking with neighbour, a son helping his mother grill satay, kittens and cats playing and fighting (this is cute).

And also have a couple of ducks.

Hmm.. I remember my childhood, I was chased by a duck, it was terrible moment.. huhu. So, everytime I walk home, it was scary to see duck so close to me.

Some late evening I walk home on the same road. I see a couple of ducks, this time they were loafing at other house. Near at them, have a bunch of kids playing 'pondok-pondok'. Then two from that kids approach to the ducks. They make sound to that ducks, but ducks seems busy with each other and disregarding that kids. Then kids make louder voice and moving around to disturb those ducks. I look and frown what the hell to those kids. haha. I guess maybe that ducks feel a bit annoy with kids behaviour.

Then without expected, that ducks chase them, and I can hear all of them screaming and running leaving their hut. Hahaha. I was the only person who L.O.L.. hakhakhak. Poor them.

Keeping The Faith

2011-12-05T16:19:00.002+08:00

I received a text message from my upsi friend. She said her father got heart attacked last night and now he stay at ICU. I know her father. She often invite me to her home at Penang during we studied at upsi. So I really familiar with her family. I text her back and listen to her. I try my best to be there for her. She was my roommate at upsi for 3 years.

"Thank you Azah. I feel so much better after spoke to you"

"Don't say that. You do the same thing for me"

1 year has passed. But we still contact each other. Especially when we need some advice or just want to talk.

Everyday in my life, I try to keep the faith and be loyal to every persons I loved. I feel appreciated because they accept me for what I was and what I am now. And instead I accept them for what they are. For me, it doesn't matter if you pretty or not normal, skinny or fat, poor or rich, famous or not, and broken or alone. I never care about it. What matter for me is respect and be honest. When someone handing me a real friendship, I take them to my heart. I may sound conservative in friendship. But this is my belief since I was little.

Recomended : Read the lyric

Dia Frampton reveal the meaning behind the song " The Broken Ones"

-What others might find "broken," I find charming.

What makes us broken, is also what makes us perfect.-

Recover

2011-12-05T07:36:00.000+08:00

Food poisoning, fever, and stomach pains.

I am in bad condition now and try to recover quickly.

I still trying to complete all jobs in office and at home.

But unfortunately my routine exercise must be discontinued for a while.

#1 Wonderful People - Sister

2011-12-01T22:10:00.000+08:00

I never have sister in my sibling. I do have female as friend, cousin and other relations. But I never understand how's feel to have a female in my sibling. I was growing up as an independent little girl in my family. I can tell my brother all about my problems but the only exception was girl stuffs and girl emotions. So sometimes I tend to assume my female friends as my siblings. I was closed with my friends. But still not all stuffs I can discuss with them. Then about 3 years ago, my brother get married with my sister in law.

I have to say this because I'm so grateful. This several years, many good things happen to me. So many wonderful people came to my life. One of them is my sister in law.

So many speculations arise before my brother marriage. Included a bold statement from my uni friend. I found her obviously just want to keep her body busying about my family especially when my sister in law choose my brother over her brother. For me, I love to know someone by myself. So after 3 years with us, my sister in law not only giving me a nephew but she became my sister. The fun part is when we go out with my brother, she always walk by my side and my brother left behind.haha.

The good thing about us is we have respect and take care of each other. Believe me, she's 3 years younger than me. But age never be an issue. Some people said (included my uni friend), the reason why my sister in law respect me because I'm older and more experience than her. No, I disagreed. I met several peoples that younger than me, but what I found they lack of respect even at the first meet. No matter you are younger or older, if you lack of respect, you still not respect people.

What I found from this relation are we always supported each other and accept ourselves as what we are. We may not perfect but we willing to fix it. Because we are family :)

My sister in law and nephew.

2011-12-01T09:37:00.000+08:00

This is so cute.

Wonderful People

2011-11-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

I was thinking about to post about wonderful people I met in my life.

In my blog I feel honor to post about every wonderful persons who drop in my life. Even when I travel on bus and a stranger sit next to me just talk to me, we discuss about something in our head and we get inspired by each other. I will definitely write about those stranger. This is really special moment for me to meet nice people. I can't count how many times, I gave link of my art site to strangers, because they asked for it after we discuss our interests.

Last weekend I met an enthusiastic old woman, I called her 'Mama'. She talks a lot, I can see so many experiences in life she have. I guess her difficult life in the past, make her appreciate life more. She advice me to always appreciate people around us, if we feel like want to giving up, try to flash back all the best memories in our life. Actually she inspired me this time.

I was thinking about to flashback and post about amazing people in my life. No, I'm not kidding. And please don't think I'm kindly weird today. Haha :D

Skyscraper

2011-11-25T09:53:00.001+08:00

The inspiration song this month

to me is

Demi Lovato's Skyscraper.

I knew Demi since Camp Rock Movie. I really love her song, 'This is Me'.

Then I heard her song 'Believe in Me'. She have a loud voice and really love her in Camp Rock. But I never know she was bullied when she was in school. She have bulimia and cut her wrist. Last year, because of depression she go to get treatment. She come back later with new album 'Unbroken' and Skyscraper is such an inspiration song. I've heard so many cover done by random artists sang Skyscraper, but still love Demi version with true emotion. Love her spells every words and she really mean it. Her dress awesome with hat. At some part, I notice her face look like little Nicholas. heehe

Life is Not Beautiful

2011-11-22T10:16:00.000+08:00

Life is not beautiful.

It's not a perfect spa packages which pampering your days.

It's like unexpected vacation,

when you are ready with plan, everything just fine,

suddenly it blows up on your face.

Now you know how mean it could be.

Life is not beautiful, not yet.

It just wait for you to make it happen.

But put blame to other just make you sound coward.

Ready with plan 2 and 3 if plan 1 failed,

Feature your own smile and go forward,

correct all the wrong things.

Life is beautiful enough,

if only you willing to take the hit

and turn it to sugar in your blackest coffee.

If you holds to it,

you don't need to wait for life be beautiful.

Because you already sound strongly beautiful, to me.

by Azah.

Inspiration : Pzan

Salah Nombor

2011-11-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

Kejadian ini berlaku apabila saya menemani abang dan kakak ipar saya ke pasar membeli barang dapur.

Kring kring. Henset abg saya berdering.

"Hello"

...

"Hello siapa ni?"

"Hello, ashraf ada?"

"Ashraf? Ni bukan Ashraf."

"Bukan ke? memang ni no. dia"

"Bukan. Salah nombor ni"

"Ooo, awak Naim ye?"

"Ha?? Bukan la. Salah nombor"

"Ala, tak kan awak lupa kot. Tadi kita jumpa kat kedai topup."

"Ha?"

Perbualan dipadamkan.

Saya dan kakak ipar pun pelik.

"Siapa tepon?"

"Ntah, Ashraf la, Naim la. Siap cakap jumpa kat kedai topup."

"Salah No. la tu, laki ke perempuan tepon tu?"

"Lelaki"

"Eee..Gay kot"

hahaha.

Favourite Shoe

2011-11-17T14:29:00.000+08:00

My very best friend gave me on my 22nd birthday.

He saved some money and bought for me 2 years ago.

I didn't wear it frequently, so he sulks a little.

Plan to wear again this weekend and watch him play rugby.

New Workout Routine

2011-11-15T09:59:00.000+08:00

Oh. I gain some weight.

After a month working 8 hours without moving. huhu. Sad.

BUT,

this time my goal is not to lose weight but to build muscle and tone body.

I want to look skinny muscle not skinny-fat look.

and, to stay healthy.

So here my new workout routine.

30 Days Shreds - Jillian Michaels

Bought this since early year,

but I don't have dvd player at home,

and external cd for laptop.

So, finally with my 1st salary last month, I bought new dvd player.

Will write a review later.

Just done eleven days and nine-teen days to go.

Eleven Days

2011-11-14T10:48:00.000+08:00

Eleven days already.

My thigh getting tighter

My waist smaller

Arms getting stronger

Butt tighter

Getting fit.

Can't wait for the next nineteen days.

School

2011-11-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

This is my school picture.

But I wasn't a student in this picture, I was a teacher.

Find me in a middle of picture!

Lagu Teman

2011-11-11T13:28:00.000+08:00

For someone who I have promised to be with,

forever for always.

Premonition

2011-11-10T22:52:00.002+08:00

I always have a strong premonition when something goes wrong. I hate to have it because people might assume me a negative thinker. But in the end, my premonition always true. Sometimes I just neglect it, till someone show me what I have thought is actually

correct

Stay Happy in Sad Time

2011-11-10T14:51:00.001+08:00

I guess not everyday is happy day for everyone of us. When thing don't go well and when something happened bother us, we feel sad, unhappy and depress. Whether at school, college, workplace, home or any places, bad day will cloud us ruthless.

But I guess everyone of us have our own way to recover from sadness. Whether we hide it inside of heart, or we show it and grumble, or we keep optimistic and believe the bright day will appear soon so we move on. But will we do anything to stay happy in sad time? Will you? Or you just just give up and let yourself down.

"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbow. It is very mean and nasty place. and I don´t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. That´s how winning is done"

Motivational speech from Rocky Balboa.

Many of us might heard of this speech from Rocky and adore it but do we truly understand it?

I guess I was another person who never can be emotionless. Because I rich with it. I feel sad easily, sympathy easily, and depress easily. When a person shoot my feeling, I will feel sad because knowing people dislike me is distracted. And it's so disturbing when people tease me. One moment in my life I have let myself down because of it, my health dropped miserably and I stopped drawing for almost a year. That is something I show what I learned. I move on and try to be happy in sad time.

1. Talk to someone who close.

I did tried to keep my sadness in heart, I was afraid to talk to my mother, my sibling and my friend. Because I feel like I want to let go so I don't want to talk about it. But I never can forget it. The more I try to bury the unwell feelings, the more I suffer and depress. When you have something bad thing happen, talk to someone who close to you. You will feel much better.

2. Draw a picture of your feelings.

Drawing is my hobby and sometimes it turn to therapy. The more my feelings disturbed, the more I draw. Some of character I made because of my sadness and depression. Drawing a picture is a good way to vent negative feelings. It's not about how beautiful art you make, but it is about how you draw your emotions and try to pour out the sadness within yourself. You can just draw a stickman or simple face of emotion or doodle a random lines.

3. Write it.

When you feel sad and don't have someone to talk about it. Then go write it. Get a diary, or journal, or blog or any website that allow you to write, share your experience and pour out your sadness. But you must be careful if you want to write your feeling in online world. Not all people will get what you write about.

4. Listen to music.

Music relief us. True. When you feel sad, turn on the radio or mp3, listen to happy and harmony songs, you will feel better. Don't hear sad song or emo song, it against you and make your feeling more distracted.

5. Workout.

If you feel sad, don't just sit and grumble your feelings. Go to park and take some jog. Or you can buy an exercise DVD and do workout at home. As long as you move, it helps to releases chemicals in your brain which lift your mood. Workout is good therapy which can help you to be healthier and be in good condition. But many of us turn to food when we sad. Guess what, my depression have make me lost 10 pounds and I just not get new body but new good feeling with new inspiration to move on in life.

6. Go to your happy place.

Don't just sit at home and when you feel sad, avoid from stay at home, alone. Go out and get fresh air, go meet your friends and get out from gloomy mood. You can go to beach, or park or any place that help you feel good. You might find the inspiration to move on. Whenever I feel sad, I will go board a bus and go to watch a movie or go to some place that make me calm.

7. Play any instrument.

If you can play any instruments like guitar, piano, violin etc. Play it with your heart, it relief your unwell feeling like when you listen to music.

8. Optimistic.

No matter how hard life is, please think positively that some day, the bright day will come soon and your sadness will fade away like pimple scar. You just find your hiruscar or mederma cream to make the scar disappear. Avoid from negative mind, thing happen with reason. It will wise you more at the end. Think optimistic, try to focus and get back on your track as soon as you can. If someone told you're not good or something else, never ever trust them. I did trust them before, but what I found out is they lied. Don't be sad, move on.

I may a person with weak feeling, but so many things I learned make me stronger. I may sad easily, but I move on quickly. I feel bless to have good peoples around me, supports me and watch over me. If you feel sad now, trust me, couple months later you'll over it.

Grumble

2011-11-05T22:50:00.000+08:00

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns; I am grateful that thorns have roses.”

Alphonse Karr

Old Photo

2011-11-02T23:22:00.000+08:00

Something from my past, for share with heart.

Last year picture, me and my guitar at the back stage.

Dinner event with college team and our dinner theme was "Back to Village". So you can see why I wore that dress with shawl. It was oddly awesome night, we sang and played guitar with our kampung dresses. I was very shy on that time. :p

Too Much Online World

2011-11-02T11:37:00.002+08:00

Do you spend too much time on computer? Surfing internet, facebooking, blogging, finding inspirations or stalking people? An hour in the morning and again in the evening, perhaps if you start to count, how many hour you spent in front of computer a day? Do you ever think that you probably can do other good things than just sit in front computer?

Spend too much time in front computer for me, is unhealthy.

Since I become an employed person, I start to count how many hour I spend on computer. Almost 8 hours on workplace and sometimes an hour or more at night. I dislike it. Sometimes I avoid myself from log on the computer at night. Online world are still important for me. To check emails, blogs, facebook etc. But since the last few month I try not to spend time on computer too much.

Emails

Checking emails is priority in my online world. When I log on the internet, I will hit the emails first. But some spam emails are disturbing. It too unwieldy to delete it, waste my time.... Arrr..

Facebook

Actually I don't have my own facebook, but since I was in practical season, I make one facebook profile after been requested by my students. Now I have one, so facebook become one of my social network with my family and close friends only. And about friends list in my facebook, 85 percent from it are my students. :) But I'm not addicted too much to facebook, not my priority, I still can live without it. I may spend more time on facebook if I want to update my facebook page. So not much time I will spend on facebook.

Blogs
Blogging is my other hobby. I love to write, to share, to motivate myself and to find inspiration in life. I sometimes write down my draft in my cellphone. When I log on the blogger, I just edit a little and post it. Sometimes, I love my fingers type all the words on keypad. Still love it. haha... It's okay for me to spend time for it.

I don't read too much blogs. Since this early year, I unsubscribed many blogs which I think I should stop read it. Reading too much blogs make me so stuck and overwhelmed. And watching my dashboard full with unread posts make me feel uncomfortable. I know I missed so many great stuffs and wonderful info but some of them aren't relevant for my life right now. Maybe they are good for somebody else.

But there are some blog I pursue read and loyal reading their blogs. Because I find entertainment on their blogs. Some of blogs I subscribed because of friendship connection, inspiration and some of blogs I willing to read because of the motivation and the honesty in their writing. I don't mind to spend time to read this blog because they give me the good effect in my life.

I believe we keep willing to follow and to read some blogs because it give us the inspiration, motivation, entertainment, connection, information and perhaps in other way. At all, I spend more time on blog, but still in control.

Design Work
This is so inevitable thing. When I get job in design work, I need to face computer for very long hours (depend upon design hardship). Especially on workplace, I spend my almost work time by sitting in front of computer and deal with my design job. People might say it's easy job, but it's not. It's healthy to think about ideas, to analyse, it make us productive. But it's unhealthy to just sit the whole day without moving. After a month working like this, I must do workout at night.. :- |

Honestly, the online world change my whole life especially to my offline world. I get knowledge and get wiser from it. I learn many tutorials from internet, get more friends, more ideas, more inspirations from various cool pictures from all over the world and many good things here have taught me to be myself. But now, I limit this online world, because online world still have the unseen danger which I guess you all know about it. And the most important is too much of online world make you unhealthy. We don't move, and even you are already skinny, I'm sure you feel unhealthy too. Why don't we turn off the computer for couple hours, go outside and feel the air, wind, bright of sun and start moving. Go get your inspiration and when you come back, write or share it at online world.

Three Strangers

2011-11-01T14:45:00.000+08:00

I'm not really familiar in this small town. Though I have been living here since the past of 8 years, but clearly when I walk alone here, nobody knows me. Unless they're my school friends.

My workplace is exactly in the middle of this small town. Everyday I walk on the same footpath, I meet random strangers everyday and board the same cab with strangers everyday. But we never spoke or try to smile to each other.

Until one late evening, I wait for a cab. A young girl come and sit beside me. I asked her how long she usually need to wait for the cab everyday. She answer politely. Then I realize she wear the orange shirt under her black cardigan.

"Oh, do you work at Guardian?"

She nodded and grinned. I smiled.

Then come another girl. And I remember her face. A girl from bakery shop near with my workplace. She then go to sit beside a Guardian girl and they look friendly. They are real old friend, go to same primary school. The bakery girl greet me, "Sis often buy bread from me, right?". I replied, "Yeah, but we never spoke". The Guardian girl "The breads are delicious." We smiled. No cab yet, but we talk a lot.

Sky almost darker. A cab arrived, but it already full with passengers. Only 1 space left. An old woman come to sit, but the driver ask me to get in the cab because I'm smaller. I look at that old woman and politely give a signal for her to get in the cab.

"Sis, it's okay. Together we waiting the cab" I smiled with them. Strange right? We are three strangers in the same small town, never knew each other but today we are in the same journey.

The next day, I go to bakery shop, and from far I saw the bakery girl smile. I smile too. "Sis, yesterday our cab broke down on the way to our home." ..O_o..

Rookie Blue

2011-10-31T00:47:00.000+08:00

Finally I have my little time on computer before sleeping time. Haa.. Even I have day off from work on Sunday. But I decided to help my mother on shop. Spend time with my beautiful sis in law and my sweet nephew. Bit tired at shop but great Sunday I have.

Before I go to sleep, I want to share my recent favorite tv show. Haha. Sure you probably assume me as television addicted. Hoo. Anyway, I'm going to talk about "Rookie Blue" :)

I really like this show on Diva Channel. I have watched Rookie Blue season 1 before and it precious to watch season 2. I love when I can find in this show not only the entertainment but also the motivation, inspiration and connection too. The first time I saw the official promo about Rookie Blue, I thought that will be another ordinary police story. But I fell in love. Every Monday at 10 pm I will sit in front of tv and watch the show. I feel good, inspired and some of the scenes make me think and agree with it.

I like the characters of Andy Mcnally and Sam Swarek. The connection between them are actually blew me up.. Andy is smart, empathetic, wants to make the world a better place. While Sam is like cold and anti-social training officer who finally grow a nice friendship with Andy. Sam is smart cop, he always guide Andy to trust her instinct. I really love the relation between them. I'm not gonna ask you to watch this show. Because not every tv show give the good impact to everyone lives. But I'm gonna ask you to watch a story which give you this 4 things - entertainment - inspiration - motivation - connection.

Goodnight! :)

Cuteness

2011-10-28T14:40:00.000+08:00

Baby Boon-Tal

Birthday

2011-10-27T00:37:00.000+08:00

Me and my brother celebrated our birthday.

He 20 Oct

Me 21.Oct

Guess what, he's the only sibling I have in my family.

A - Z : Things Related With Me

2011-10-25T10:10:00.000+08:00

Azah is my name.

Bubble Milk Tea - can't help it.

Cassia Fistula flowers.

Drawing and Doodle.

Extra Xylitol - my daily gum.

Fizan.

Guitar Kapok.

Homer.
I

Irise, my skincare.

Jump rope. I do thousand a day.

K
Kitten. Aww. Cute.
L
Love is friendship.
M
Materialistic. No, I'm not.
N
Nokia E5.
O
Overtime - Japanese Drama.
P
Peacemaker. I hate war & conflict. It's disturbing.
Q
Quite. With person I didn't know.
R
Rain, Rainbow and Rocky Balboa.
S
Self-conscious. How can a teacher too easily shy?
Guess what? I'm so me when I'm with teenagers.
T
Thoughtful. I think deeply in most time.
U
Unknown. I always be.
V
Vigor person.
W
Walker. I can walk a mile with friend if they ask me to.
X
Xpax user.
Y
Yellow Lemon Tree - Favorite song ever!
Z
Zone for learning from life.

Loyal Stalker

2011-10-24T02:04:00.000+08:00

Oh dear readers. I have a loyal stalker throughout this year.

Perhaps in creepy way or non.

Maybe just want to try to know my current activities or

maybe stalking as friend.

But all this year, no signs or comments left.

Just the faithful in following my updates.

I read this,

"When a harmless person stalk you, it would be a compliment"

Really? Oh. Thank you.

Guitar

2011-10-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

I bought this guitar since December 2009.

My friend taught me. Every years on my birthday, he will play me a song.

But this year,

I play it by myself~

Wacom Drawing Tablet

2011-10-20T11:36:00.001+08:00

Feeling bless with day-dream job.

I finally got to use wacom in my drawing :)

Thank you boss.

BB Cream

2011-10-16T00:49:00.000+08:00

I finally grab a bb cream for my skin. Oh my, I never write about beauty on blog. haha. Blushh :")

I remember the first time I wear eye liner when I was eight-teen. I was with my Punk friend, she wore for me. And she said, you look awesome. We scared all friends in dorm. :P Then my Skinhead friend join us and I remember we sang together on stage, a song "Only One" from Yellow Card. Trust me, the audience loves us. :)

"Dia budak punk, dia budak skin, ko budak apa azah?"

"Aa? Aku budak surau je.." XD poyo.

They are the bestest friends in my life. I learned one thing in finding friend, don't judge book by the cover.

Ah haa.. I bought bb cream skin79. Awesome on my pale face. huhu.

4 Weeks Already

2011-10-15T22:05:00.002+08:00

I'm trying to living my life in good way, you know.

Even 4 weeks already,

I can't count how many my right eyelashes fall on my fat cheek.

Even when I board on cab and every time I will see my favorite flower on my way,

it turn me plaintive.

Norah Jones - Time after Time

Powered by mp3skull.com

Fall

2011-10-09T20:50:00.000+08:00

I slept at 10 pm last night and I wake up on eight a.m today. Long dream I got. huhu. I'm not working on Sunday so I stay at home alone. After breakfast, I tidy up the room, sweeping and mopping. Suddenly while I'm mopping the floor, I slip above on floor. Sakit. huhu.

Am Not Moving

2011-10-07T13:21:00.000+08:00

5 months,

1 week,

and 4 days.

So, I'm not moving till you come.

Fly..Fly

2011-10-04T00:08:00.000+08:00

He try to blow the butterfly, my nephew.

Littlest Thing

2011-10-02T09:16:00.000+08:00

"You over think every little thing.

But when something matters, you don't think at all"

Sam Swarek

Finally, I Get Job.

2011-09-27T12:42:00.002+08:00

Smile.Smile. :)) Finally the company I have applied the job last week, reply me today that they have approved me to fill the vacancy job. The news they just brought to me is enough to make me smile this morning. Haha. Finally I get real job, a professional Graphic Designer. My dream job actually, I never thought I will be any Graphic artist. Because I thought I will be only a Teacher. But the delay of our postings, causing me need to find job so I will be more productive and unlazy.

I feel great today. My dream just come true. When I was little I have two ambitions, whether become a professional teacher or professional designer (painter). I never imagine that I can be both. Unbelieveable.

It has been eye-opening for me, I was unknown girl with only owns huge fervor in art and work independently in art. Now I believe I can be anything I desire as long as I strive for it.

Old Issue

2011-09-25T19:01:00.002+08:00

I really don't get why they are still offended by my decision till now. It happen almost 2 years ago. A guy from my class at UPSI whom I just meet him very rare in class. One day, my friend told me that he has crush on me. I have been told that he liked me and want me to be his girlfriend. My reaction of course shock like what? I just kept quite. On that time I already have someone waiting for me, I have someone who I already promised to be with.

I thought thing will disappear slowly, no big issue. But when I walk into class every time I feel uncomfortable when his friends make face as if expect that I will accept his fellow. The situation became awkward when they asked my friends to persuade me to leave my current boyfriend. They seems forcing and I feel unconvenient to meet them either at campus nor classes. It make me feel uncomfortable to meet that guy who had crush on me. Everytime he smiled, I just turn down my face and afraid of his friends reaction.

Somehow I have forgot this thing, but they seems mad with me, I don't get why they are still offended by my old decision. I will see their cynical words at Facebook as if I was very bad not to accept his friend. Unmature thing from intended teachers?

Part Time Chasier

2011-09-25T15:11:00.001+08:00

"Berapa ni?"

"RM35.90 kak, saya bagi less RM30"

"RM20 tak boleh ke?"

"Tak boleh kak, RM30 boleh"

"Apa ni tak boleh kurang. Bukan lawa sangat kain baju ni. Ni ha, koyak. Bagi RM20 je la"

"Mane koyak kak?"

"Ada tu..Ni ha.. tengok kain pun reject. Dulu Akak kerja jahit, akak tau la kain macam ni reject."

"Ni bukan koyak kak, ni corak jahitan dia"

"Ala, akak tengok kat kdai hujung sana kain yang sama boleh dapat RM20, kedai awak ni mahal sangat"

"Kedai mana kak? Cuba akak bawak tunjuk saya"

"Ala, susahnya awk ni nak bagi RM20."

"Kalau saya boleh bagi RM20, saya dah lama bagi kak. Ni kain elok, sejuk, harga mahal sikit"

"Ala, tipu je awak ni"

Akak itu pun berjalan berlegar2 ke depan kedai, 5 minit dia datang semula ke kaunter. Dan membayar. Lol.

A Lonely September

2011-09-24T17:59:00.000+08:00

Interview

2011-09-24T11:27:00.000+08:00

Last two days I went to interview to get job. Be unemployed person for few months make me pampered and unproductive. Very bad. I saw vacancy job at Mudah.my. After discuss with my brother, sis-in-law and my close friend, I send resume to the company to apply job. The company replied me to attend their interview. The day of interview. After all papers and files are packed, I go and get cab. Well, I think the interview was fine. Experiences in practicum increased my confident level and I managed to less my shyness. But thing make me fun in interview is I apply job that I really love. Maybe my passion in art, drive me to be brave to grab opportunity. The company will call later if they want to me to fill the vacancy job. Tawakal je. hehe

Till We Meet Again

2011-09-17T12:56:00.003+08:00

I met him yesterday. Last time before he go training for 6 months.

And got to give him this small card.

This is quite bit odd feeling because it remind me about our last time at National Service, we need to say goodbye like today, and never knew when will we see each other again. I secretly putted a small card into his plkn shirt's pocket. But his friend found out first. Lol.

But yesterday is different. Our tie increasingly strong and make it harder to say goodbye. But I presume it as another challenge and I believe we will get over it.

WW#2 - Alone

2011-09-14T00:16:00.000+08:00

Alone.

Hardest Part

2011-09-10T13:17:00.003+08:00

I remember when I was 18, I went to National Service at Terengganu. I found great friends, I found the path where I first move to search me, and I found love for the first time.

Grown up as shy teenage girl never get me a date since high school. In fact, I did not believe in 'Love Trend'. Despite none in my head ever thought that I will fall in love after join National Service. But when I realize I love a man, he was 150 miles away from me.

We have been away from each other, but in heart we closed and we talks everyday. We sent more than 100 messages per day and in 6 years we have been together, none of a day we not talk. Maybe, that is why our long distance relationship still working.

After so many years he 'with' me, I can't imagine if we have no opportunity to talk with anymore. - And this is going to happen.

He informed me that he was selected to join military course. He will join the training for six months and he are not allowed to bring cellphone. I feel happy for him because he always wanted to be army. But the hardest part is we can't talk everyday like before. We might be sad if we been separated by long distance, but if we are separated by communication? I could die.

After been lost on track for several months, I couldn't imagine what will happen to me if I need to let go of him for half year. Gloomy. :(

Xenia - The Voice

2011-09-09T11:31:00.000+08:00

Since I has been unemployed person, I spend lot time by watching television. My favorite tv shows are Merlin, Oprah Show, I also fan of CSI Miami and NY, sometimes I get lough by Wipeout Tv Show. Okay, I watch tv too much. My recent favourite tv show is The Voice on AXN Channel.

The Voice

The Voice is an American reality talent show that premiered on April 26, 2011 on the NBC television network. The series consists of three phases: a blind audition, a battle phase, and live performance shows. Four judges/coaches (Christina Alguiera, Blake Shelton, Adam Levine and Cee Lo Green), all noteworthy recording artists, choose teams of contestants through a blind audition process. wikipedia source

I really like the concept of blind audition, the 4 coaches only hear the voice from singers and press the buzz if they like the singers. Then if there were more than 1 coach like the singer's voice. So the singer will pick their own coach. Fun to watch Adam Levine and Christina fights to get their teams.

One of my favorite blind audition is Xenia. She sang 'Breakeven' and her unique voice managed to captivate two coaches, Blake and Cee Lo. But Xenia pick Blake over Cee Lo. Well, Xenia is 16 years old, shy, quite girl and unknown. Watch this video, you can see how Xenia been shy on stage performance but her voice still lovely and unique. With Blake as her coach, keep supporting her.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;We&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

Xenia didn't make to final and Blake was heartbroken for her elimination.

"Anytime you're nervous, you find me. I'm your biggest fan" Blake Shelton.

Click to listen Xenia's The Voice Audition

The Voice Xenia - Breakeven

Vacation

2011-09-05T19:28:00.001+08:00

Enjoying my short vacation at Pahang.

Meet my distance friend

and relish of green views,

far away from dust in the west.

Safe

2011-08-31T10:56:00.001+08:00

First Raya, my brother bring his 1 year old son to my house.

He's my first nephew and he's incredibly hyperactive kid.
..

Well, since my neighbour poisoned my cat,

my mother seems hopelessly to adopt cats anymore.

Suddenly, on Raya morning, a tiny kitten run into my house and she's quite pampered,

not afraid of people and it seem like she make my house like her garden cat.

But when my nephew notice the kitten appearance in our house,

he run over the kitten and yelling at the kitten.

He make anger face and start talking to the kitten.
You know what is sound of 1 years old baby when talking. haha.

Kitten looks fear and runaway.

I grab her later and hug her.

Don't worry, you are safe with me.

By the way, she's my neighbour's pet.

Hid My Face

2011-08-26T10:50:00.000+08:00

I guess I've been habituated hiding my face.

Since school, I hid my face from teachers.

I choose to be unseen, invisible because I don't feel I'm beautiful.

I was scared to dream and afraid of taking chance.

I was a quite girl who sit on chair next to popular student.

I don't even believe in my self,

until one day someone believe in me.

She convinced me that I was special.

I just need to be brave and appreciate myself.

And since that day, I start to dream and run for my unaccomplished dreams.

It has been almost 10 years ago,

and I am not the same sixteen years old girl.

I deeply indebted with friendship relations, because they believe me more

than myself believe in me.

That is why I love my friends.

Even some of them has gone,

but I never forget the good things they gave to me.

Now, I still hiding my face.

But with different feelings.

Sore Throat

2011-08-24T16:20:00.001+08:00

I feel

not well

since early morning,

my throat tasted bitter and pain.

Aaahh..

I don't like this pain.

Kad Raya To Distance Lover

2011-08-21T08:38:00.001+08:00

I'm not going to lie about my status. This year, several persons ask me if I have a boyfriend? Curious maybe. With pleasure I tell them that I have a boyfriend, who lives more than 150 miles away. We rarely meet and always been away by each other. Perhaps we sound like long distance relationship. I read about long distance relationship, many peoples don't believe this relationship. Include my brother. Yeah, how can you love someone who not in front you? How about the trust and honesty can be keep up if he far away?

Erm, I don't know how, but we are still together since the past 6 years.

We talked every single days. We might don't have much chances of seeing each other like other couples. But it make us special, we always missing each other so much.

" Distance no matter, if two hearts are loyal to each other."

As Eid will come soon, I create Kad Raya for him.

Every years I sent kad raya to him, include other handmade cards. I keep send it because I know he keep it with all his heart :)